Mumzilla?

We are familiar with the term Bridezilla, but if you’re a mother and you’re reading this while helping your daughter / son with the wedding preparations, here are some signs for you to gauge if you might be a Mumzilla.

1. Is this wedding becoming the centre of my focus?
2. Am I talking about it as if it’s “my” wedding?
3. Am I obsessing over every detail of the planning during all of my waking hours?
4. Am I insistent on having the final say on every decision?
5. Have I been arguing with the bride and groom about the details of the wedding?
6. Am I arguing with even my own husband over the planning?
8. Have I given opinion that my son / daughter could have chosen a better partner?
9. Do I control the wedding budget tightly except over items or details I want?
10. Have I tried to influence the bride into thinking twice about her own decisions?
11. Am I being adament about the wedding location?
12. Am I picking out the invitations because of my own insistence?
13. Did I become bossy or overbearing when it came to the bride’s dress / gown, or make her try on those she hated?
14. Did I bore any willing listener with a detailed description of my own wedding?
15. Have I been critical of the bride over her weight, makeup or hairstyle, or made her cry in front of salon staff?
16. Did I make it my business to help choose the bridesmaids’ dresses, or even insisted on accompanying them when they were shopping for them?
17. Did I insult any vendors by saying I could do a better job than they could?
18. Have I tried to override any of the bride and groom’s decision with any vendor even after the couple has approved of / decided on something?
19. Have I tried to take control of the guest list?
20. Am I being insistent on inviting all the friends I want just because I’m paying for the wedding (or part of)?

If you’ve scored less than 5 based on this list of 20 questions, don’t worry, you might just be experiencing normal stress between you and your soon-to-be married child. Congratulations on not being a mumzilla, and be sure to continue keeping things within reasonable expectations.

If you’ve scored more between 6 and 10, be careful not to turn into Mumzilla because you’re almost halfway there. If you should feel inclined to want to speak your mind or let rip your feelings over something that does not appear pleasing to you, take a pause, think about it and if needed, just sit back, try to relax and give it some time before deciding whether it is within reasonable means to go ahead to voice it. Otherwise, maybe all you need is some time to remember the couple can handle things on their own, and it will be a wonderful wedding.

If you’ve scored more than the above, you are a Mumzilla, so take a step back, have a chill pill and readjust that attitude! You don’t want any relationship to be strained because of your demands / expectactions, and it will do everyone good for you to just remember it is after all not your own wedding, even though you may think all you want is just the best for the couple. What you think may be best for them may not be the case after all, so relax that attitude. The marriage after all, is what really counts, so don’t forfeit / neglect the couple of the wedding planning fun for their own wedding (not yours!).

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